How did I get here?
reflecting on hope, where mine came from and how to give hope
As I try to prepare for an upcoming women’s retreat and having to put together a teaching on how hope restores, I reflect on who I was before Christ, before having hope in Him. And how did I get to where I am now, where did my hope come from? What transpired to create the faith I now have and how can I explain or enlighten others to these things?
I mean I guess in a nutshell, I didn’t know Jesus, I knew a misrepresented version of God, who kept a long record of my sins, and punished me accordingly. I was filled with pride, anger and driven by my desire to chase money and worldly things in a sinful way. I lived life on my own terms and aimed to please me and only me. Having children did not change this.
I love my children, but having children did not release the grip the enemy had on me. I was deceived by his lies and my whole existence was entangled with this deception. My sinful behavior was illegal and I piled up legal consequences over the years. They caught up to me in a serious way, but I see now that this may have been divine intervention. Although at the time all I saw was the inside of an overcrowded jail cell. This was not the first time of incarceration, but this is the one that changed my life.
I met Jesus in that cell. I recognized my need for a Savior. My way was only landing me in hopeless situations with dire consequences. I lost custody of my children, sold and used drugs, lived under aliases, hiding from the police, this was my lifestyle and I never felt there was a reason worth changing it. I was content in the grips of the enemy. I embraced the sin and darkness.
Jesus changed all that. I was suddenly aware that my children would loose me, like grow up with out me there in the physical. They would be adults when I would have been released. How dare I hurt these blessings God entrusted me with? I was so convinced of all the reasons my lifestyle was not “that bad” until it was clear how deep a grave I dug and I may not get out of this one. I desperately cried out to Him for help this time in jail, and He came through. And then came through with more hope and more blessings time and time again.
So, is it accurate to say when you are at the end of yourself, in the pits, in literal shackles, with no way out, you should call on Jesus? Yes!
But it is fair to acknowledge, not every one will end up in literal shackles. Not everyone will even come to the end of their self, yet they are in desperate need of Jesus. I mean I think it is safe to say we ALL need Jesus. But just because that is true, does not mean we all accept that fact when we should.
Praise God for being so faithful, and to pursue us when we are trying to avoid Him!
So, how do you make it clear to someone unwilling to accept the fact that their situation, their spiritual freedom, their life depends on Jesus, when they don’t think they are at that point, the point of needing a Savior?
How do you explain hope to someone who is already finding hope, as fake as it may be, in source other that in the True Hope?
Do you wait for their fake hope to diminish?
I think at the least, we are called to walk out our faith and hope in front of them. Praying they at least see Jesus in me. Maybe even curious as to what and how my life has been so radically transformed.
This is a perfect example of how powerful our “walking testimonies” can be and why it is so important to live a life that is in line with your words. Your talk and watch must match up, this serves as how a Christian should live, not just what Christians say.
Don’t live a “do as I say, not as I do” life.
We live in a monkey see, monkey do world. Be the monkey that leads others to Christ!🐒
-L.A. XO
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